Finding Yourself

If you look back in time about 7 years ago, (wow time flies) you would meet grade 6 Kristen. A hockey playing, tom boy in her brothers jeans. I was a nerd. I spent my days bugging my teacher for extra work so I could bump my 93% in math to a 94%. I spent my nights carpooling back and forth between different arenas. My life at this age was not all that exciting, as the life of a 13 year old isn’t usually. In school I struggled with keeping a best friend, as I was far to bossy for the liking of the other girls. I had no idea who I wanted to be when I grew up. All I knew was that I wanted to wear my DC hoodie with my matching sneakers. Ohhh what a sense of style I had (not).

Then fast forward to high school. High school for me was a bit all over the place. I spent my first 2 years in a small high school where everybody is in your business, and knows exactly what you did on Friday night. Around my grade 10 year my hair had gone blonde and I wanted less upkeep, so I died it back. Only, it didn’t go “back”. It went black. (reference below, ew) My grade 9 and 10 years were hard for me. I had started to try and express myself through a fun pair of boots, or a bag with fringe on it, and I would be bugged for weeks about it. I was not confident in myself at all, and soon the piece of clothing that was made a mockery of would be stashed in the back of my closet.

In grade 11 I transfered with my best friend to our local high school. This school was much larger then any school I had attended before. The bell would ring, and the classrooms would poor out students into the halls. Over the next 2 years I lost my desire to perform well in class, and being invited to parties was my main focus. Whenever I reflect back to this time of my life I fill with regret about all my wasted time. Even though getting an invite to a party would momentarily satisfy my need for belonging, by the end of the night I would feel rather lonely. It felt nobody really knew the REAL ME. Every girl would have a few drinks and decide you were their best friend, but by the time Monday rolled around it was like they forgot your name. As much as I enjoyed being in a bigger school, I’m not sure it was the best decision for myself looking back.

My style never really developed till Fall 2016. I started getting more comfortable in outfits that half of the teenage girl population wasn’t wearing. I introduced patterns, and detailed sleeves into my wardrobe. I stopped caring about what people thought about me. The little remarks people would make about my outfit went in one ear, and out the other. The lost, little high school girl found herself in vibrant colours and satin fabrics. Having a creative outlet to express myself has become so important to me. No matter how bad of a day I am having, brainstorming outfits, and ideas for tomorrows look will instantly lighten my mood.

I am finishing up my exams for my first year in university, and have finally decided a path for my future. After first dropping all of my science courses, which at the time I was convinced was the right path for me, I found business. For my future I want to get into the fashion world. I’d adore to wake up in the morning and blog every single day, for the rest of my life. I plan to get a Business Degree and further explore my love for the fashion industry. What a better place to start then here…

If you ever feel lost, just keep moving on. Try something new, but most importantly never give up on yourself.

xoxo ♥♥♥

 

 

← (me on the right)

 

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